In January 2020, I will have been fighting cancer for four years. Unbelievable. I never wanted to go through the process of traditional chemotherapy. Yet life means more to me than pain.
I eat I breath, and I like to be prepared. Now, I am joining the chemotherapy army. The Oncologist staff have stratagies to help kill cancer cells ,and it takes place in the chemo room. I have had my medicine port cleaned out in the chemo room. Now, I will be a participant this week, A Private with dreams of success, and fears of the effects the medicine has on my body. I have been looking at the chemo room hoping I will not have to sit there and have medicines inserted into my veins to fight my disease. Wish me luck , and pray the treatments will kill the bloody cancers trying to kill me. I call these cells demons. I will not give up.
The time has come for the medical industry to change my cancer treatment plan. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2016. It has been an interesting ride, and I am scared now that I have exhausted Radiation and Tarceva and Targresso cancer pills. I thank all the doctors , nurses and medical staff for treating me with kindness and respect. I also send my gratitude to Big Pharma for keeping me alive relatively pain free.
My spine is disintegrating one vertebrae at a time. I just finished a long round of Lumbar punctures. The doctor removes spinal fluid than replaces it with chemotherapy medicine. After he sticks a needle directly in my spine. My mind fears the procedure more than the procedure. The pain consists of a prick and when the needle is pushed.. inserted into the skin it feels as if a weight has been placed on you, and its heavy. Then when the needle enters the fluid of the spine one of your legs goes numb just for a second. Cool. The rest of the procedure is a piece of cake
I will know my fate in a few day’s. To keep fighting cancer is my job. This Lady is going no where. God Willing. PEACE
Living life with a life threatening disease feels like your engaged in a battle. In my minds eye I can see the enemy. The enemy are round cells that group together like dead grapes. Before I receive the test result with the bad news. I never think about the cells in my body. Never, and than I go about my business.
Lets name the strategies to win the battle necessary to beat the cancer cells into oblivion. Nuke them with RADIATION, remove them with SURGERY, just take a PILL or poison them with CHEMOTHERAPY. To name the most common medical procedures.
My personal favorite way to kill the enemy is PRAYER. Always, and then I go about my business.
It has been a bittersweet week. The best news is the birth of Luke and Willow. Hurray. The bad news is Bob had surgery to remove Cancerous lymph nodes in his face. Janet was hospitalized with PNEUMONIA. Bubba a kind and sweet soul passed away from a massive heart attack. I mourn his loss from the bottom of my heart.
Change happens every day, the consequences we label bad or we label good. After all the bad that happened this week I find it hard to digest bad news I received from my MRI result? I am praying for my friends and family. I guess adding myself to the prayer list is my only recourse because tears do not CHANGE anything.
What I crave is for people to not to feel sorry for me. I feel this way because the cancer has fractured my spine as well as my psyce. All I want is to keep living with goals and dreams. I love life, and I love my family. I am lucky to have friends that help me with everday tasks. Sometimes life is a double edged sword. PEACE
Several months ago we lost the patriarch of our family. He was a successful man who worked hard and achieved the American dream. He had a dry sense of humor, and a was a role model to all that knew him. He was my fathers oldest brother, and we loved him very much. I pray my uncle and my father meet in heaven. Along with all my families lost souls.
I am not including real names. Privacy?
Yesterday, my family from out of town, got together to celebrate my uncles life. He passed away after suffering with health problems for years. It was a fantastic event. Afterwards, I knew I would like to spend more time with everyone there. I am praying the next event will be a wedding.
How hard is it to relax? It all depends on certain factors? If you are worried about your health, money, relationships, keeping up with the Kardashians. Relaxing can be difficult. Letting go of your problems is a sure way to relax.
This week I have found my relaxing chai. My Mom picked me up, and we drove two hours out of town. We landed at a beach. Thanks to my Aunt we have comfortable accomodations. My cousin met us at the timeshare and gave us permission to “do anything we wanted to do” I found these words sufficient enough to let go of all my worries and RELAX!
I pray everyone can relax! Your body needs it to stay healthy, and so does your emotional health. May the sun and the stars shine on you!
I FEEL LUCKY! I AM STARTING THE SUMMER SEASON IN DUCK N.C. THANKS TO MY AUNT MARGARET. TIMES ARE MELENCOLY DUE TO THE MASS SHOOTING OF 12 VIBRANT SOULS IN VIRGINA BEACH. MAY ANGELS TAKE THEIR SOULS DIRECTLY TO GOD, AND I PRAY NO ONE SUFFERED. I FELT LIKE CAPS TODAY. OH, WELL LIFE IS TO SHORT AND CAN BE TAKEN WHEN LEAST EXPECTED. PEACE MARY