I have always lived life to the fullest. I have felt great joy and excruciating pain. I have succeeded and failed many times. Some people called me reckless others courageous. None of the views of others mattered until two years ago when I faced death like a Tuesday evening date. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer. My life changed the moment the words "You have cancer" was spoken. Now everything I do I am conscious of. Please join me on my blog Stage 4 Living Life to the fullest with Cancer. Or my blog Mary Mary Quite Contrary. PEACE
Rumors are whispered in the halls of the hospital today I will be released? I have been here for one week
It has been interesting. It is up to each person to make their stay bad or enjoyable, and is dependent on that individuals attitude. My body longs for my bed and my husband lying next to me. We made the decision for me to stay in the hospital as long as it takes to get the job done. It is safer to stay in the hospital than to run back and forth to doctors appointments when I am a fall risk. I would like to thank the doctors and staff of Princess Anne Sentara hospital for their professional attitude towards me. I have met and spent time with phenomenal nurses, secretaries, food service professionals, cleaners, transporters, doctors, especially mine, physical therapist etc. This hospital does everything to diagnose and serve their patients. Thank you, Peace
It has been five days in the Princess Ann Sentara Hospital. The kind staff have poked and tested me, and today I got the diagnosis.
I have Cancer. My cancer is located in my cervical and lumbar vertebrae. Tomorrow I will have a lumbar puncture with a Methatrexate inserted into the spine. It is a drug that has many uses. For me, Methatrexate is used as a chemo drug for the type of small cell cancer cells attacking my cells.
I have been fighting this disease since 2016. I am not surprised just dissapointed. The procedures I will have makes me sick but keeps me alive. That is all I want. To be here to experience love I have for the experiences I have yet to come. This new diagnostics is not a death sentance just a full time job.
Yesterday I had a long dizzy spell. I felt like Dorothy in the movie The Wizard of OZ My head spined as if it was in a tornado. My legs felt like rubber similar to the tin man learning to walk. I hit the floor. I was not hurt, but I did not have my phone or anyone to help me. No. Fun. The room was spinning. When I hit the floor. My best friend Toby Tarn sat beside me and licked my hand. I suddenly felt better and after hitting the heals of my feet with red socks I resting on the cool wood floor reciting I want to go to bed and I was able to get on all fours and and get to my bed unscathed. Called 911. I’m hospital, and now more than ever. There is no place like home.
Dorothy red shoes. I Want to go home! Do not forget your purse.
#1: Real or Fake? I have written a political manifesto. It came on me slowly. What is real or fake news? I feel helpless, and no matter what I do I am not being able to control anything? I am having a crisis of conscience. I have had to seclude myself from the news. So that I can clean my thoughts of fear, and anger that is bigger the me.
#2: My Oncologist is doing a great job keeping me alive. I have two weeks per month where I feel strong. I have not felt this way in many years. Then the symptoms have returned, cancer or side effects? What happens to me; my lumbr vertebrae two goes numb with a feeling of pins and needles down to my knees. Emergency, I look for a landing pad becase after the nerve pain down my lower limbs My lower legs turn into rubber, and I crash. Holy Cow!
#:3 Change: No one likes change. Change is inevitable, to keep my sanity I will turn off the news, and pray everyone gets along. Also, I will prepare a bag in case I have to go to the hospital, pull my self togeather and stop blubbering about other people problems. Than I will pull all my energy and maefest it in my my novel “The Cat’s Lair.”
I feel like life is taking me on a rollercoaster ride. I will smile and enjoy the journey.
It has been and good and a trying week. I am in the mountains, at my Mother’s house. The air is clean and the temperature is in the 70’s. Sweet. Since my arrival on Sunday I have experienced two falls. My Mom and I have decided to postpone our battlefield walks for a few more day’s. Instead we are watching the Hallmark channel. Feel good movie marathon. My sister was kind enough to pick me up and take me home. A few hundred miles. I feel asleep with my hand was out the window. My sister rolled up the window to turn on the AC. She crushed my wrist. We both had a good laugh after the screams and tears. What have I learned? Slow down and stay awake.
This has 🐝 a hard week, and a nice week. I have been spending time with my Mom in a small town. The air is clean. But watch my feet. My balance is off and I have fallen twice. My sister was nice enough to bring me home and she rolled up the window on my wrist. What have I learned. Stay awake and slow down. Now I am watching Hallmark Channel with my Mom. We are putting off our battlefield walk for a few days. The best news is I am with my Mom. My body needs rest after last week’s MRI with contrast, lumbar puncture and chemo. No kidding.
My last medical appointment for the week… good news. Results from this week’s procedures show that I have NO cancer in my brain. Whoops…then chemo. One body part at a time. I feel better…like I dodged a bullet. Waiting for test results feels like I am holding my breath. Today I can breath.
Fighting cancer means a never ending series of tests. This week’s job is to endure brain testing. Saturday morning I had a brain MRI. Which is not painful, but I had contrast shot into my arm that had unpleasant side effects. The next test. Yesterday I had a lumbar puncture. Than tomorrow I am fortunate to have Chemo, and the results of the tests. It is a busy week. I am fortunate I did not contract. Small cell lung cancer a few years ago. It would have been a quick death sentence
I want to thank big Pharma for making the drugs to keep me alive and my doctor and his staff, the excellent Lumbar puncture Dr. She is amazing, and has a nurse that took care of me. She has a thick southern accent and made me laugh. I know I sound over the moon, but with all the sadness of the last few weeks with a man who was unjustly killed. My problems seem small in comparison. God bless America!