I got a box in the mail today with two pairs of dream PUMA High Top Ralph Simpson Tennis shoes. They are incredible 💕 The interesting part about the shoes is they come at a time where I cannot walk? My legs have turned into rubber trees. In bed full time. What have I done to mess up my Karma! Cool..Slippers Now!
It has been five days in the Princess Ann Sentara Hospital. The kind staff have poked and tested me, and today I got the diagnosis.
I have Cancer. My cancer is located in my cervical and lumbar vertebrae. Tomorrow I will have a lumbar puncture with a Methatrexate inserted into the spine. It is a drug that has many uses. For me, Methatrexate is used as a chemo drug for the type of small cell cancer cells attacking my cells.
I have been fighting this disease since 2016. I am not surprised just dissapointed. The procedures I will have makes me sick but keeps me alive. That is all I want. To be here to experience love I have for the experiences I have yet to come. This new diagnostics is not a death sentance just a full time job.
#1: Real or Fake? I have written a political manifesto. It came on me slowly. What is real or fake news? I feel helpless, and no matter what I do I am not being able to control anything? I am having a crisis of conscience. I have had to seclude myself from the news. So that I can clean my thoughts of fear, and anger that is bigger the me.
#2: My Oncologist is doing a great job keeping me alive. I have two weeks per month where I feel strong. I have not felt this way in many years. Then the symptoms have returned, cancer or side effects? What happens to me; my lumbr vertebrae two goes numb with a feeling of pins and needles down to my knees. Emergency, I look for a landing pad becase after the nerve pain down my lower limbs My lower legs turn into rubber, and I crash. Holy Cow!
#:3 Change: No one likes change. Change is inevitable, to keep my sanity I will turn off the news, and pray everyone gets along. Also, I will prepare a bag in case I have to go to the hospital, pull my self togeather and stop blubbering about other people problems. Than I will pull all my energy and maefest it in my my novel “The Cat’s Lair.”
I feel like life is taking me on a rollercoaster ride. I will smile and enjoy the journey.
Fighting cancer means a never ending series of tests. This week’s job is to endure brain testing. Saturday morning I had a brain MRI. Which is not painful, but I had contrast shot into my arm that had unpleasant side effects. The next test. Yesterday I had a lumbar puncture. Than tomorrow I am fortunate to have Chemo, and the results of the tests. It is a busy week. I am fortunate I did not contract. Small cell lung cancer a few years ago. It would have been a quick death sentence
I want to thank big Pharma for making the drugs to keep me alive and my doctor and his staff, the excellent Lumbar puncture Dr. She is amazing, and has a nurse that took care of me. She has a thick southern accent and made me laugh. I know I sound over the moon, but with all the sadness of the last few weeks with a man who was unjustly killed. My problems seem small in comparison. God bless America!
I am at Oncologist appointment. Covid-19 procedures still going strong. Blood work looks better 👍 waiting on Dr. and then chemo procedure! God bless those souls suffering from the virus 💔🙏 Or suffering from Cancer heartbreak etc. PEACE!
I have just finished four chemotherapy procedures. Now, every three weeks I look forward to a Keytruda drip. The Chemotherapy side effects were brutal for me. Nausea, no appetite, aches and pains, mouth soars, exhaustion, emotional distress and bottom of the feet blistered. A whole lot of no fun. The good news my doctor assured me is the Keytruda drip has no side effects. A fate as yet to be seen. Yesterday I had a PET scan, and will find out the test results on Thursday. PET scans can detect cancer at the molecular level. I will find out if the cancer treatments are fighting to KILL the cancer cells infecting my body. I am waiting patiently for the test results, home bound in fear of catching the coronavirus.
In January 2020, I will have been fighting cancer for four years. Unbelievable. I never wanted to go through the process of traditional chemotherapy. Yet life means more to me than pain.
I eat I breath, and I like to be prepared. Now, I am joining the chemotherapy army. The Oncologist staff have stratagies to help kill cancer cells ,and it takes place in the chemo room. I have had my medicine port cleaned out in the chemo room. Now, I will be a participant this week, A Private with dreams of success, and fears of the effects the medicine has on my body. I have been looking at the chemo room hoping I will not have to sit there and have medicines inserted into my veins to fight my disease. Wish me luck , and pray the treatments will kill the bloody cancers trying to kill me. I call these cells demons. I will not give up.
Radiation side effects are different for most people. For me, the last round of 4 cyberKnife and 10 regular zaps of radiation has been difficult to swing back to normal. I am exhausted and when I stand up an acute sense of Vertigo overcomes me. So, I lye in my bed and rest. After a couple of hours I either fall asleep or try and stand up. What I realize is nerves may be the culprite Nerve pain is not easy to explain. Nerve pain feels like electrical currents that make twitchs and bodily movements on their own. So I rest, and pray the nerves will calm down, and all will return to normal soon.
My way to cope. I have two canes sitting by my bed, and on reserve a wheelchair. The wheelchair and my husbands band has been my entertainment. I sit in my wheelchair and practice wheeling on my deck. It’s fun, and will be useful when I need it. When the band comes over I get to listen to great music. Life is interesting. It is all about how you handle it, and having positive people surrounding you. PEACE
Cyberknife, sounds sci-fy, and lying under the robotic machine I felt like a Transformer was working on me. I needed four cyberknife treatments. I named it The Hand. The arms of the Hand helped pinpoint the cancer cells without zapping areas that did not need radiation for various reasons. I also needed traditional radiation in my hip. Ten treatments. I decided to have both treatments at the same time, because I hate cancer cells in my body. Also, summar has arrived and I want to be pain free. Caner hurts.
Side Effects: Fatigue, loss of appetite, vertigo, passing out.