What I crave is for people to not to feel sorry for me. I feel this way because the cancer has fractured my spine as well as my psyce. All I want is to keep living with goals and dreams. I love life, and I love my family. I am lucky to have friends that help me with everday tasks. Sometimes life is a double edged sword. PEACE
I FEEL LUCKY! I AM STARTING THE SUMMER SEASON IN DUCK N.C. THANKS TO MY AUNT MARGARET. TIMES ARE MELENCOLY DUE TO THE MASS SHOOTING OF 12 VIBRANT SOULS IN VIRGINA BEACH. MAY ANGELS TAKE THEIR SOULS DIRECTLY TO GOD, AND I PRAY NO ONE SUFFERED. I FELT LIKE CAPS TODAY. OH, WELL LIFE IS TO SHORT AND CAN BE TAKEN WHEN LEAST EXPECTED. PEACE MARY
Stage 4 Living Life to the Fullest With Terminal Cancer
Pain is subjective. Everyone has their own pain threshold. The medical community gauges a patient’s pain level between one through ten. One being the least to ten the worst amount of pain.
If you have never experienced chronic pain, it is hard to comprehend how it feels? I experienced sleepless nights where finding a comfortable position was impossible., simple acts we take for granted like walking…breathing…become arduous tasks. Chronic pain is no joke?
What happens before you are a “patient” In “chronic pain?” Living without access to prescription pain medications. It isn’t pretty! Living becomes and exercise in control. Trying anything “legal” to help make it through the seconds, minutes and hours of the day. In a nut shell “Getting through the day becomes a frantic search for help?” Unfortunately, in most cases it takes Doctors time and a lot of testing to find out what is wrong, and put a label on the cause of the pain? So that medication can be prescribed. For me it took four long months to be diagnosed with lung cancer.
I will never forget what I call the “c-battle.” Living with active cancer cells wreaking havoc in my body. Causing destruction and irrevocable damage to my body, and without treatment the awful cancer cells grew strong and metastases down the vertebrae of my neck and spine. Fracturing seven vertebrae, and killing nerves along its path of destruction. All the while I begged my primary care physician for an MRI, and was told “your insurance will not cover it.”
So, I have put together a list of do’s and don’ts from mistakes I made, and helpful tips on how to navigate the quagmire of red tape patients face within the medical industry.
I am writing this book to help me come to grips with my disease…as well as giving others who face a similar fate…who struggle like me everyday… inspiration on how to live life to the fullest with cancer.
It has been a long time since my last post. I have been fighting battles, which has left me spent and unable to express myself. The last two weeks especially. I have been receiving radiation treatments and last Wednesday a bone biopsy. I hope to be back in full swing soon. Peace!
I adore my grandson. His name is Hudson. Lately, I have had problems walking, sitting and lying down. My back, since I was diagnosed with bone cancer, attacked and fractured seven vertebrae. My life as I knew it is now long gone. I need help getting out of bed, standing up from a chair. So, taking care of Hudson alone is hard. He is an active 4 year old. Luckey, he is smart and follows directions. Our time together makes my day. I spoil him as much as I can. Without Hudson, There would be a hole in my heart. He gives me purpose, and without purpose what do you have? Nothing.
I have endured tragedy and bouts of medical testing…radiation…daily chemotherapy. My writers voice and one finger typing, in hibernation. All my energy going in different directions. Now, I once again feel like myself, thank you Jesus, I write.
I ask myself “What do I want? What if? What next? What the f###?” depending on the day. Than I wonder “What now?”