Normal

Normal

Trying hard to live a normal life. What is normal anyway? Now that COVID-19 has closed America down. Looking back at all the good friends and interesting 😁 life experiences. I have lived. I talk to myself. “It’s ok to have a new normal just make sure you keep making memories.” We will survive this deadly virus. True American are made of strong stock. Change is never easy. Look at this ime in history as a time to heal as individuals, and come togeather as people helping those around you in need. God Bless America, PEACE

SICK & ALONE AT HOME

The virus COVID-19 has put me in the high risk group. I have stage 4 cancer, and my immune system is compromised. I am in self isolation, and am sick & alone at home. A lot of people can relate. A world pandemic. Scary. My mother always told me to get busy when I was down. When I feel emotions I do not like. I hear her voice in my head and I get busy, and all is good.

I am sending prayers of health and safety to the world’s inhabitants. No one is left out. There is a rumor that the eating of a bat started the epidemic? There are lots of fables being concocted. I believe people need a reason for why things happen? Bless the scientist who are working overtime to figure out the biology behind the COVID-19 virus. Please god, give big Pharma the humanity, when drugs are invented for this virus, to make them affordable to all humans that need it.

The world is taking a break, and so am I. PEACE

AFFORDABLE MED’S FOR ALL

TRADITIONAL CHEMOTHERAPY

TRADITIONAL CHEMOTHERAPY

In January 2020, I will have been fighting cancer for four years. Unbelievable. I never wanted to go through the process of traditional chemotherapy. Yet life means more to me than pain.

I eat I breath, and I like to be prepared. Now, I am joining the chemotherapy army. The Oncologist staff have stratagies to help kill cancer cells ,and it takes place in the chemo room. I have had my medicine port cleaned out in the chemo room. Now, I will be a participant this week, A Private with dreams of success, and fears of the effects the medicine has on my body. I have been looking at the chemo room hoping I will not have to sit there and have medicines inserted into my veins to fight my disease. Wish me luck , and pray the treatments will kill the bloody cancers trying to kill me. I call these cells demons. I will not give up.

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What I Love

What I crave is for people to not to feel sorry for me. I feel this way because the cancer has fractured my spine as well as my psyce. All I want is to keep living with goals and dreams. I love life, and I love my family. I am lucky to have friends that help me with everday tasks. Sometimes life is a double edged sword. PEACE

2019 Reading List January

The Art of Peace by Morihei Ueshiba. Translated by John Stevens SHAMBALA, BOULDER 1997.

YOGA 365 Daily Wisdom For Life On and Off The Mat. Susan and Harwood Ruebin. CHRONICAL BOOKS, San Franscico, 1997.

Meditation From The Road, The Road Less Traveled. Daily Reflections From The Road Less Traveled, and the Different Drum. M. Scott Peck, M.D. A TOUCHTONE BOOK. Published by, Simon & Schuster NEW YORK LONDON TORONTO SYDNEY TOYKO SINGAPORE

LOST IN RELECTION!

It happens when your terminal illness leaves you home alone , and unable to drive.   Your thoughts become almost like a friend except they do not talk back.  Lost in reflection?   Is it good or bad?  Percentage wise, I reflect on what should I do?  Nothing major.  How can I take my Grandson Hudson to the Zoo, Beach, and Children museum.   I try to leave negative thoughts out of the conversation.  I know, on a dreary Friday and  I start writing, that it’s a good day.  I thank God and the universe for all that is good!  PEACE

 

Cyberknife/Radiation Side Effects

Radiation side effects are different for most people. For me, the last round of 4 cyberKnife and 10 regular zaps of radiation has been difficult to swing back to normal. I am exhausted and when I stand up an acute sense of Vertigo overcomes me. So, I lye in my bed and rest. After a couple of hours I either fall asleep or try and stand up. What I realize is nerves may be the culprite Nerve pain is not easy to explain. Nerve pain feels like electrical currents that make twitchs and bodily movements on their own. So I rest, and pray the nerves will calm down, and all will return to normal soon.

My way to cope. I have two canes sitting by my bed, and on reserve a wheelchair. The wheelchair and my husbands band has been my entertainment. I sit in my wheelchair and practice wheeling on my deck. It’s fun, and will be useful when I need it. When the band comes over I get to listen to great music. Life is interesting. It is all about how you handle it, and having positive people surrounding you. PEACE