In January 2020, I will have been fighting cancer for four years. Unbelievable. I never wanted to go through the process of traditional chemotherapy. Yet life means more to me than pain.
I eat I breath, and I like to be prepared. Now, I am joining the chemotherapy army. The Oncologist staff have stratagies to help kill cancer cells ,and it takes place in the chemo room. I have had my medicine port cleaned out in the chemo room. Now, I will be a participant this week, A Private with dreams of success, and fears of the effects the medicine has on my body. I have been looking at the chemo room hoping I will not have to sit there and have medicines inserted into my veins to fight my disease. Wish me luck , and pray the treatments will kill the bloody cancers trying to kill me. I call these cells demons. I will not give up.
What I crave is for people to not to feel sorry for me. I feel this way because the cancer has fractured my spine as well as my psyce. All I want is to keep living with goals and dreams. I love life, and I love my family. I am lucky to have friends that help me with everday tasks. Sometimes life is a double edged sword. PEACE
I have 12 day’s to get ready for my procedure. As I stated in yesterdays post, the last biopsey I had, my blood pressure dropped which made it neccissary to turn off the anestisia. I have been trying to figure out what I did wrong to make my bloopressure drop during the biopsy? In my google research (am I crazy?) I determined, (I am not a doctor.) The anestisia reacted to the medications I was taking? (possible reason) So, I am still taking the exact medications. What can I do other than follow my Doctors instructons?
I decided to juice vegetables and fruits and drink 8 glasses of water day to try and rid my body of built up toxins due to my daily drug regimine. I trust my Oncologist with my life, but his practice does not think that cancer and diet are corolated other than to keep weight on the patient…meat on the bones. I am not on a crazy weight loss diet. I am adding healthy foods into my system, and I feel good. I am also consuming fiber, lean organic protein and green tea.
I feel like I am being pro-active in my fight against the enemy, over active cancer cells. Even if my detox diet has no effect on the next biopsy, maybe I have found a healtier way to eat.
Stage 4 Living Life to the Fullest With Terminal Cancer
Pain is subjective. Everyone has their own pain threshold. The medical community gauges a patient’s pain level between one through ten. One being the least to ten the worst amount of pain.
If you have never experienced chronic pain, it is hard to comprehend how it feels? I experienced sleepless nights where finding a comfortable position was impossible., simple acts we take for granted like walking…breathing…become arduous tasks. Chronic pain is no joke?
What happens before you are a “patient” In “chronic pain?” Living without access to prescription pain medications. It isn’t pretty! Living becomes and exercise in control. Trying anything “legal” to help make it through the seconds, minutes and hours of the day. In a nut shell “Getting through the day becomes a frantic search for help?” Unfortunately, in most cases it takes Doctors time and a lot of testing to find out what is wrong, and put a label on the cause of the pain? So that medication can be prescribed. For me it took four long months to be diagnosed with lung cancer.
I will never forget what I call the “c-battle.” Living with active cancer cells wreaking havoc in my body. Causing destruction and irrevocable damage to my body, and without treatment the awful cancer cells grew strong and metastases down the vertebrae of my neck and spine. Fracturing seven vertebrae, and killing nerves along its path of destruction. All the while I begged my primary care physician for an MRI, and was told “your insurance will not cover it.”
So, I have put together a list of do’s and don’ts from mistakes I made, and helpful tips on how to navigate the quagmire of red tape patients face within the medical industry.
I am writing this book to help me come to grips with my disease…as well as giving others who face a similar fate…who struggle like me everyday… inspiration on how to live life to the fullest with cancer.
I adore my grandson. His name is Hudson. Lately, I have had problems walking, sitting and lying down. My back, since I was diagnosed with bone cancer, attacked and fractured seven vertebrae. My life as I knew it is now long gone. I need help getting out of bed, standing up from a chair. So, taking care of Hudson alone is hard. He is an active 4 year old. Luckey, he is smart and follows directions. Our time together makes my day. I spoil him as much as I can. Without Hudson, There would be a hole in my heart. He gives me purpose, and without purpose what do you have? Nothing.
I have endured tragedy and bouts of medical testing…radiation…daily chemotherapy. My writers voice and one finger typing, in hibernation. All my energy going in different directions. Now, I once again feel like myself, thank you Jesus, I write.
Shaving the hair off my head has opened my eyes to the absurdity I have placed on the importance of having a “Good Hair Day.” I feel liberated from my own fear of being labeled, sick, by other people.
Having the cancer wreak havoc with my spine I learned to sit quietly in a wheelchair, and now feel normal walking with a cane. I cherish the road to “healing” when I keep living past my expiration date “miraculous.”
Of course, I would not be alive if it were not for my husband David, and all my friends. Life is about the people who you love enough to take care of, and vice versa.